8 Ways to Find True Belonging in God
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 1 John 4:16
My friend Mary called me late one night, her voice trembling with loneliness and lingering disappointment. She had been married once in her younger years, but it didn’t work out the way she had hoped. Since then, she’s gone on date after date, searching for what she calls her “fairytale guy.” Yet time and again, each new relationship has left her feeling more discouraged than before. Now as she’s getting older, Mary wonders if she’s missed her chance—or if this elusive “true love” even exists. “You’re my best friend,” she often tells me. “Why do I still feel so alone?”
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Mary comes to me for answers, and though I wish I had a simple fix, the truth is any real hope I can offer isn’t my own. It comes from a source that has guided me—despite my own failings—and that source is the Bible.
“Till I Found You” Music Video - by Phil Wickham – Tells of searching everywhere and finally finding true fulfillment in God.
Get into Community
One of the most beautiful ways God shows His love is through the people He places in our lives. Even in our darkest moments, He often uses the kindness, support, and friendship of others to remind us that we are never truly alone. When we share our burdens, grow in faith together, and encourage one another, we experience a tangible glimpse of God’s heart toward us. Embracing community is not an added bonus of the Christian journey—it’s a vital part of God’s design for us.
By reaching out, opening up, and letting God’s people walk with us, we discover a richer sense of belonging and the beautiful reality that we are deeply loved by both our Creator and those He’s called into our lives.
“Two are better than one... For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. ... And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. ~Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, 12”
1. The Bible: A Trustworthy Source of Truth
You’ve probably heard people say the Bible is just an ancient book with outdated ideas. So why do Christians like me keep pointing to it as truth? Here are some reasons:
Consistency Across Time: The Bible was written over a span of about 1,500 years by ~40 different authors (kings, prophets, fishermen, doctors). Despite these diverse backgrounds, it tells a single, unified story of God’s love, humanity’s fall, and redemption through Jesus Christ.
Historical Reliability: Archaeological discoveries continually affirm the historical context of biblical narratives. Early manuscripts, like the Dead Sea Scrolls, verify that the text we have today is consistent with ancient copies.
Fulfilled Prophecies: The Bible includes hundreds of prophecies—some written centuries before events occurred—that have been fulfilled, especially regarding the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.
Life Transformation: The Bible’s teachings have changed lives across millennia. Millions testify to freedom from addictions, renewed relationships, and peace they never had before. As Jesus prayed, “Your word is truth” (John 17:17 ESV), and many find that truth resonates deeply when tested in real life.
The Song “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle – Speaks comfort that God hears our cries and will come for us in our darkest moments.
So when I talk about Mary’s loneliness or any of our struggles, I’m not sharing mere personal opinion; I’m pointing to what I’ve come to believe is God’s Word, designed to speak hope into our longing hearts.
2. Longing That This World Cannot Satisfy
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. ~Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
Even though Mary has tried multiple relationships, it’s never enough to fully soothe the ache inside. She’s convinced that if she finds the “perfect spouse,” everything will be solved. Yet deep down, she wonders if that longing points to something beyond what any human can fulfill.
C.S. Lewis famously wrote:
“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”
In other words, if nothing in our earthly experience—no relationship, no achievement, no possession—truly satisfies that inner hunger, perhaps we were designed for a greater love. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (ESV) says God has “put eternity into man’s heart.” We sense a need for something eternal, something beyond what we see around us. Mary’s heartbreak, her restless searching for that “fairytale guy,” could be a signpost directing her to the only perfect, unending love—God Himself.
“God Won’t Give Us Our #2 Until We Make Him #1”
When we place the desire for a spouse (or anything else) higher than our desire for God, we’re effectively saying, “God, I can handle fulfillment on my own terms.” But Scripture reveals that our deepest fulfillment can only come when God is first in our lives. That means God is #1, and any other blessings (like a spouse, a fulfilling job, etc.) come under His loving authority. A common Christian saying goes: “God won’t give you your #2 until you make Him your #1.” It reminds us that:
We need to find our true identity and worth in God first.
A spouse is never meant to replace God or be our ultimate source of satisfaction.
By trusting God as our #1, we’re freed from clinging to people or things in an unhealthy way.
In the Bible, Jesus tells us to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33 ESV). God wants to bless us—including potentially with a spouse—but we need to align our hearts with Him and let Him fulfill our spiritual needs first.
3. The Beauty of Easter: Peace and New Life
As Mary and I talked about her dating disappointments, our conversation shifted to the power and hope of Easter. Easter is a pivotal reminder of God’s ultimate demonstration of love—Jesus’ death and resurrection. Here’s why it matters:
Good Friday (The Cross)
On Good Friday, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, willingly took upon Himself our sins. He died on the cross to pay the penalty that our rebellion against God incurred. That’s the heart of it: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 ESV). Jesus’ sacrifice bridges the gap between us and God, making a relationship with Him possible once more.
Easter Sunday (The Resurrection)
But Jesus didn’t remain in the grave. On the first Easter morning, He rose from the dead, conquering death for all who believe in Him. The resurrection is central; it confirms that Jesus’ claims were true and that He’s alive now to live in relationship with us. N.T. Wright, a prominent Bible scholar, says:
“The message of Easter is that God’s new world has been unveiled in Jesus Christ and that you’re now invited to belong to it.”
Easter invites you and me (and Mary) to belong to a kingdom where sin and death don’t have the final say. It’s God’s gentle but powerful declaration that no amount of loneliness or heartbreak is beyond His reach. Jesus’ resurrection means hope is alive.
“I Choose Jesus” by Moriah Peters
This track explicitly speaks about how God chose us first in love, and in response we freely decide to choose Him back. Its lyrics capture the heart of free will—God’s invitation without coercion.
4. A God Who Lets Us Choose
Every time Mary calls me for advice, part of me wishes I could just force her to see how real and satisfying God’s love is. But that’s not how God operates. God gives us free will—the dignity of choosing or rejecting Him—because love cannot be coerced. If God forced us to love Him, it wouldn’t really be love at all.
As far back as Genesis, we see God giving Adam and Eve a choice. They could walk in obedience and closeness, or they could turn away. Sadly, they chose to disobey, bringing sin and brokenness into the world. Yet through Jesus, God makes a way back to Him—if we’re willing. God respects our freedom; He knocks on the door of our hearts, but He does not break it down:
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”
(Revelation 3:20 ESV)
That’s God’s posture—a patient, loving invitation. He won’t force Himself to be our #1. He waits for us to choose to make Him our deepest love and Lord.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ~Matthew 7:7–8”
5. Belonging to God: The Antidote to Loneliness
Many people resonate with Mary’s longing for companionship. One of life’s cruelest ironies is that you can be surrounded by people—friends, co-workers, fellow churchgoers—and still feel deeply alone. But a relationship with God means you are never truly alone again. He promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5 ESV).
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. ~Jeremiah 29:13”
When we come to Jesus, He also gives us a spiritual family, the Church—not a building, but a community of believers from every age and place. God often meets our need for belonging through fellow Christians who walk with us, support us, and remind us of truth when we forget. Tim Keller, a respected pastor and author, put it this way:
“We should be neither overly elated by getting married nor overly disappointed by not doing so—because Christ is the only spouse that can truly fulfill us.”
He’s not diminishing the desire to find a godly spouse. Rather, he’s pointing out that our ultimate satisfaction- the belonging our hearts crave—is found in Christ first and foremost. A spouse, if God wills to give one, is a gift. But no person can bear the weight of being our god, our ultimate meaning. That’s a burden only God can shoulder.
How to Pray Easily
6. A Prayer for Those Who Want to Know God
Mary and I have prayed about her situation many times. If you, like Mary, feel empty and unsure where to turn, maybe you sense God knocking on the door of your heart. It’s your choice whether to open it. You don’t need fancy language; He hears the sincerity of your heart. Here’s a simple prayer to guide you:
Dear God,
I don’t usually pray, and there have been times I’ve felt let down, wondering if You’re really there. But I’m asking You now: please show me that You are real, whether it’s through people or circumstances, or in some other way that I’ll recognize. I feel lonely and unfulfilled, and I’m beginning to see that my deepest longing is actually for You.
I want to believe that You love me and created me to know You. Thank You for sending Jesus to die for my sins, so I can be forgiven and have a genuine relationship with You. Thank You for raising Him from the dead, offering me hope and new life.
Today, I choose to make You the number one priority in my life. I surrender my search for fulfillment in anyone or anything else, and I ask You to come into my heart as Lord. Please forgive me for looking elsewhere for my worth and happiness. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and the peace only You can give.
Teach me how to trust You each day—show me what that really means—and lead me to a community of believers where I can learn, grow, and find support. Thank You for never abandoning me, even in my doubts. From this moment forward, I give my life to You.
Amen.
“Jireh” by Elevation Worship & Maverick City Music – Reminds us that God is our provider and enough for us.
He is risen. And in that truth, our hearts can rise from emptiness to fullness.